Monika Jiang
on Destigmatizing Loneliness and Returning to Oneliness
We are not alone in feeling lonely!
Yet, loneliness remains the unwanted state we all dread. A shadowy, uncomfortable reality we often prefer to ignore: “We’ve unlearned to be bored, to sit in silence. We’re running from the fear of being alone, from hearing our thoughts, embracing discomfort and paradoxical truths, and confronting the parts of ourselves we dislike or judge.” In the pursuit of “a life on my terms,” we’ve found ourselves living a shared loneliness disguised as connection yet deeply isolating.
All is not lost! In a time ruled by “swipes, hyper-individualism, and growing distrust”, Monika Jiang explores loneliness as a deeply personal, shared, societal issue. Centuries ago, before "Loneliness" became a word, there was only "Oneliness”, a concept of wholeness where one was all, and all were one. Today, artificial intimacy and polarization led us to grow apart from our sense of self and each other, deepening the mental and physical health crisis.
But Monika doesn’t see loneliness as something to eradicate. Instead, she views it as a path to rediscovery. As a second-generation Chinese immigrant in Germany, she grew up balancing two worlds, often feeling “a part of and apart from” the places she called home. Her journey began in media and community building, where she grew a vibrant network of creative thinkers for the House of Beautiful Business to explore new ways of being: “Community is a verb rather than a noun. It’s an act of love that emerges only in relation between people, sometimes out of momentum, other times gradually.”
Today, Monika is a writer, facilitator, The Break Fellow, speaker and trainer in nonviolent communication, embodiment, and restorative dialogue. She founded Sharing Our Loneliness, an initiative that reframes loneliness not as a weakness but as an invitation to reconnect. Through intimate gatherings and spaces for dialogue, Monika fosters environments where inner truth can flourish: “We are all lonely. This is what binds us together, the fundamental nature and experience of being human. We are deeply connected in our aloneness, and never truly alone. We need to foster communities where we can express our vulnerabilities without shame, with mutual care, compassion, and a genuine sense of belonging.”
At UNFINISHED Festival in Romania, she spoke about the importance of reconnection in a disconnected world: “Being alone reveals yourself. It brings anxiety, yet it offers a chance for rest and self-reflection. It offers a deeper look into our souls: How am I, really? What do I need more of or less of?”
Read Monika Jiang’s answers for Inspirators and let this encourage you to stop running from yourself.
Thank you, Monika, for being a Loneliness Advocate!
#INSPIRATORS QUESTIONNAIRE
Name: Monika Jiang
Company / Institution: Sharing Our Loneliness
Title: Writer; Facilitator; Community Builder
Website: monikajiang.org
LinkedIn profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/monika-jiang/
Country of origin: Germany
Country you currently live in: Germany
Your definition of Regeneration: The cycle of birth and death.
Main business challenge you face: Finding the right language to reach an understanding of the mind and heart.
Main driver that keeps you going: Care for people and the world.
The trait you are most proud of in yourself: Sensitivity.
The trait you most value in others: Integrity.
Passions & little things that bring you joy: The shapes of clouds, the sound of a blow dryer, ice cream during any time of the year, kind acts of strangers, raw expressions of children, great coffee, music that makes me sing and move, flowers, and the permission to be silly.
The Inspirators who determined you to take the regenerative path:
Lately, I‘ve been most inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk who brought the Plum Village tradition into the world, teaching about “interbeingness“ with ourselves, our ancestors, our past, and all of life around us.
A starting point for companies or professionals that are beginning the regeneration journey: Apart from finding the right kind of support to help with a sense of direction and accountability, it’s the personal, inner shift that often gets overlooked or underestimated.
Only if we turn inwards and sit with the questions that bring reckoning and reconnection, we can find the (re)generative kind of motivation that doesn’t come from a place of filling a void, of lack, and inadequacy, but a place of generosity, care, and enough-ness. Otherwise, we’ll just stay in the same practices and systems of perpetuating the problems that have brought us to this very moment of crisis.
Most used and abused clichés in sustainability that bother you: Reducing sustainability/regeneration to KPIs, certificates, and badges that again reward and reinforce a superficial, short-term, and linear approach that ultimately works within the current extractive system.
An honest piece of advice for young people who lose hope: Take care of whom you’re surrounding yourself with. Instead of being afraid to be alone or not to fit in, learn to trust your gut, your intuition, your sense of justice, and your dreams. Only you can be you! So be you! Regrets, failures, and heartbreaks are a part of life as much as joy, success, and love - make space for all of it, and learn to embrace it all.
Books that had a great impact on you / Must-Reads for any regenerative professional:
Gabor Mate’s The Myth of Normal
Prentis Hemphill’s What It Takes to Heal
Robin Wall Kimmerer’s Braiding Sweetgrass
Movies / Documentaries you would watch all over again: Perfect Days.
Websites / Podcasts you visit frequently: The Way Out Is In, Elise Loehnen’s The Thread, Krista Tippett’s On Being.
Music that makes you (and your heart) sing: At the Unfinished Festival closing, I listened to Sanda Weigl live, and was completely enchanted and taken away.
Places you travelled to that left a mark on you: Most recently, Guilin, China and Thai Plum Village near Bangkok, Thailand.
Global Regenerative Voices you recommend us to follow:
African Indigenous knowledge scholar Wakanyi Hoffman
Temporalist Gustavo Nogueira de Menezes
Laura François, founder of The Awe Exchange
Trends in Regeneration we should keep an eye on: Anything that puts us back in touch with ancient, Indigenous, and intergenerational knowledge and practices centered around interconnectedness.
Events we should attend / Best places for networking (online or offline): Unfinished Festival, House of Beautiful Business, Inner Development Goals Summit, The Conference (Malmö), Katapult Fest, Gathering of the Tribes.
Impactful and relevant Sustainable Development or Regeneration courses or certifications: https://www.regenerat.es/
Regenerative Leadership qualities much needed today: Emotional resilience, empathy and compassion, and humility.
The Inspirator(s) you are endorsing for a future edition:
Laura François, The Awe Exchange
The quote that inspires you:
”We need to change our way of thinking and seeing things. We need to realise that the Earth is not just our environment. The Earth is not something outside of us. Breathing with mindfulness and contemplating your body, you realise that you are the Earth. You realise that your consciousness is also the consciousness of the Earth. Look around you–what you see is not your environment, it is you.” (Thich Nhat Hanh)
Your quote that will inspire us:
